My name is Oak’lahoma Beetledust and this is my story.
I used to live on a livestock farm with my family. My mom was as infamous as you could be in the area. I can’t tell you how many stories I had heard about her growing up, not that any even referred to her by name. I mean, it wasn’t hard to realize that a story about a wild halfling woman with silver hair doing something badass was just a story about my mom. Especially when we all looked exactly like her, especially with the whole “silver hair” thing. But as cool of a legend she was, she wasn’t exactly the best mom. When my Ma died and left my Mom with four young children, she kinda just went back to how she used to be, infamous bandit with no family and no worries. Anyways, long story short I ran away with my siblings when I was like 10? 12? Something like that. We kinda just took our horses and just left one day. Picked new names for each other and kept our ma’s last name. We stayed on the road together for a few years doing odd jobs that were just enough to get us by, but then one went south and my little brother didn’t make it out. It was entirely my fault, and i didn't know what to do—none of us really knew what to do. We made camp that night with one less person and I never went to sleep, I just waited until my sisters were passed out and... left. I haven’t seen them since.
I drifted for a bit and eventually found a farm where they needed an extra hand and they would let me stay for a bit. Im a hard worker, you know, and I ended up staying years longer than i expected to. I became friendly with my coworkers, until it felt like we became more... family than coworkers. It was nice. And then the farm started running into issues. Animals were disappearing in the night. It turns out that one of the ranchers from a farm down the ways was stealing our cattle, but we didnt really have enough proof, so the sheriff couldnt do anything. Lazy bastard. I was cocky, good with animals, and good at not being seen, so i did what i needed to do. I broke into their farm and stole our cattle back. They couldnt do anything about that! When i told conner that our cattle returned in the night, he was thrilled.
Oh, Conner was the head of the ranch. Still is probably. He paid well, and let us do our own thing when we weren’t working. By all means, a good fucking employer if you kept your head down and did what you were supposed to! I—i shouldnt talk about him like that.
Anyways, after that night, i made money on the side. I kinda missed doing that kinda work anyways, ya know? No one at the ranch knew what i was doing, but lets just say there was a rumor that if you left a note at the crossroads just south of a certain road, you'd get what you wanted, for a price of course. Id steal livestock for someone one night, and if the original owner wanted it back, id steal it right back for ‘em. I never even got caught! Well, at least not at first.
Eventually, it got harder. Not to brag, but i ended up with a pretty big bounty for a small town. The richer of the farms began to catch on, and suddenly everyone on night’s watch got more competent. They started firing at anything that moved. And while my talents are certainly spotless, its difficult to compete with a bunch of losers with ammo and spell slots to burn. It wasnt long before i started getting hit by things. Arrows and crossbow bolts were the most common. I got real good at stitching fabric back up, hell, stitching myself back up a bit too. I had the money for new fabric too. And when i got hit, it wasnt anywhere noticeable anyways.
Then, it all ended. I got blasted by some stupid magic lightning shit one night. Awful. 0/10, would not recommend. I dont even know what that person was thinking. I- It got my horse, Reckless. I pulled myself away from her smoldering body and managed to hide somewhere in the underbrush. I passed out after that I think.
Once I woke up, I managed to get back h- back to the ranch despite my injuries. But then conner found me out. Arrow wounds are easy to hide, ya know? But ‘cha can’t quite hide getting fuckin struck by lightning as easily! I must have been gone an entire day by that point, and my body was still shaking by the time i limped myself back there. i could barely keep myself upright, haha. Connor put the pieces together and told me everything was going to be alright. And i believed him. I let my guard down, and he helped me patch up my burns.
I stopped for a while after that. That lighting stuff kinda messed me up for a bit. I tried to go find what was left of my horse, but I guess whoever got me with that bolt took my horse, or whatever was left of her I guess. I couldnt do anything about that. Still havent gotten another horse.
As soon as I felt well enough, I went back to doing what I was good at. It just felt kinda wrong stopping for that long, but theres only so much you can do when your body won’t stop twitching. My first night back, there was one request at the crossroads that stood out. It was simple: I just needed to steal a boar from the Ridley farm and drop it off in a pen that was set up on the western outskirts of town. And I did. Even after i became big news around town, the Ridley’s security stayed pretty lax, so I slipped right into one of their barns and found the boar the note detailed. It was bigger than me by a good foot and had these horrid tusks. But I’m not a quitter, and I’m not a coward when it comes to animals so I did the only thing I could think of: I found myself a saddle and saddled that bad boy up. I don’t want to brag of course, but riding the pig was the easiest part of that night.
I reached that pen with no problem and treated mr. boar to the rest of the carrots in my bag. And thats when I thought that something didn’t feel right. There was this crackle in the air, and then I got hit with a load of stupid lightning magic for the second time. It sucked the first time, and let me tell you that it ABSOLUTELY sucked the second time. When I got my senses back, let me tell you that the taste of metal and dirt in my mouth was made so, so much worse by the people I saw in front of me:
There was that elven asshole that got me twice with the lighnting. I only assume it must have been her because you could still see small static charges arcing off of her into the air. Standing next to her was the sheriff. Never a good sight, especially when you’ve just been caught in the act, cannot feel most of your body, and are writhing in the dirt not ten feet in front of him. And last, was my boss. I remember being so thrown off by the sight of him, but I knew it wasnt a good thing that he was here. He had been nice enough to offer me work and a place to call home, and I had a feeling that after getting caught stealing livestock that his offer wouldn’t hold true for much longer.
Dazed, I looked from one face to the next, nothing clicking in my head. The sheriff and the lightning caster I understood. She must have known that she actually hit someone that last time a few weeks ago and reported it to the sheriff... or something, which explained why the sheriff was here, but i thought my boss had no reason to be there...
But he set me up. That bastard set me up. He was the only one that knew. Maybe its just how I was raised, but where i come from, you dont fuckin betray someone like that for money. I must have passed out again after that, because i woke up in the town jail. My boss came to see me soon after. He told me how he and the elven girl had split my bounty, and that the farm would be set for a good while all thanks to me. If I agreed to follow his orders, he could even work something out with the sheriff and bail me out. He was impressed with my work and wanted me to answer to his beck and call with my “skills”. I told him he could fuck right off. He told me i could rot in here for all he cared.
I swallowed some of my pride after that. In the state i was in, i knew i wouldnt be able to get out on my own. I used my one vulture message to send a long letter to my poor old mom saying how much I missed her and how I changed my ways and that I was sorry for this and that. Lets just say that even if the sheriff could read halfling, he sure as hell couldn’t read halfling thieves’ cant. To be honest, it was completely a long-shot. I was hoping she hadn't moved on from our old farm, and that she could find it in her somewhere to care about her fuckin kids for once.
It took her two months before she showed up in the dead of night and broke me out. Worst two months of my life. The sheriff wanted to know where the money from my jobs was. I wasn't gonna tell him. He didn't like that. Conner came back every so often, telling me how much he wanted me back at the farm and how /easy/ it'd be for me to just say yes. Didnt i know that i had /always/ been his favorite? After the sweet talk didn't work, he threatened me. Paid the sheriff off a few times so that he could show me how real his threats were, that no matter how stubborn i was, i would bend to him eventually. I’ll show you the scars and all one of these days. Just... maybe not today, haha.
Maybe i should have just listened to him, you know? Everything would have been so much easier! I wouldnt have ruined another home, and i wouldnt have needed to send my mom a message, and sure, connor would have had me do whatever he wanted but... at least id still have a home, right? I still miss everyone. I never got to say goodbye. I guess i never do, huh.
Oh, but then my mom showed up. Broke me out faster than i ever could have broken myself out, especially in the state i was in. She asked how my siblings were. I told her my brother died some years back, and the twins were fine last I’d seen them, no thanks to her. we rode in silence after that. I got off at the next town over. Didnt say bye to her either.
And I just kinda drifted around for the next few years, leaving the country in favor of cities, and then mountain towns, and then castles, and then along the sword coast, just picking up jobs. At one point I heard about some missing children and a good sized reward and followed the trail of rumors towards Barovia.